Sunday, November 6, 2011


I just wanted to let all of you who read, follow and look to the blog to know what is going on with me to know that I will not be posting for a while.  I will not be shutting the blog completely down.  I just need to take a break for a while.  I will send out a notice when I am back to posting regularly.  Thank you for your prayers, love and concern.  Please know that you are a blessing and greatly appreciated.


Monday, October 3, 2011

What, What, What are you doing?

Last fall the question that entitles this blog entry was very much at the forefront of my mind.  Once again I find myself in a similar place.  I started out this journey last year seeing a very different end than the one I currently have.  Don't get me wrong, I knew I would end up back at IHOP at some point.  I didn't know when and everything else is different from what I would have wanted or expected. I am back in Kansas City, Missouri at the International House of Prayer until the Lord releases me.

As you may know by now, the updates for this blog will be sporadic in nature as I will not have as much time as I have had over the past year.  Please continue to pray for me.  I am greatly in need of it.  I need the Lord to provide for those things He has asked me to do, as well as give me the trust in Him to do it.  My trust has been sorely lacking over the past three years.  I say that and then I think of how I came out here to Missouri with only a job, no place to live and no idea as to exactly why or what I am supposed to do.  So, I figure I must have more trust than I think I do or there is no way I would have done this.  
I am praying and hoping something beautiful comes out of this time.  I need a major overhaul and I would like my life to be in a place where things are beginning to make some sense.  The last time I felt that I was in my early twenties.  I felt my future was bright and that the Lord was already opening amazing doors for me.  But lately I've felt abandoned and as though so much time and youth has been wasted.  One of my friends was praying for me this past summer and this is part of the vision she saw:"You looked at a mirror and looked intently at your face,then you looked at another mirror and saw you, but saw something completely different, and each mirror held a different reflection.  You were angry at first because one mirror didn't reflect all of who you were, but eventually you laid on your back on the floor and the mirror on the ceiling was a whole picture of you and you were satisfied." 
In short, that vision summed up how I have felt over the past 7 years.  I am hoping that the woman who laid on the floor and saw the full picture of herself  in satisfaction will one day exist.  I've yet to meet her.  Maybe the satisfaction will come from being content in where I am and truly understanding how God sees me.  I also think that part of it is being in a place where I feel like I fit and that someone sees there is more to me and that I have gifts beyond what people have seen so far.  A place where the Lord can birth things He has been wanting to do for years.  I've never been in an environment like that before. 
Psalm 139:13-18
13For you formed my inward parts;
   you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works;
   my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret,
   intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16Your eyes saw my unformed substance;in your book were written, every one of them,
   the days that were formed for me,
   when as yet there was none of them.
 17How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
   How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
   I awake, and I am still with you.

Love to you all!

Monday, August 22, 2011

I close my eyes, drew back the curtain. . .

  So, CAST 2011 is officially over.  I had a dream last night about the team and I texted them all this morning.  I miss them.  It was a great summer!  God gave me something I had lost a few years ago.  He gave me a chance to be a part of something I had longed to be a part of and on a show that is so important for me.  The show, "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" is all about a man who dreams.  He dreams and those dreams take him to dark places in his life.  Places he didn't think he would be going, but places he needed to go in order to handle what God wanted to give him in the end.  Had Joseph not walked the difficult journey he did, he would not have had the humility, fortitude, attitude, strength, perseverance, heart and life experience to become second in command of an entire nation. 
So, this week I sat with God dealing with my own journey this past year.  It's crazy to think that a year ago at about this same time I was taking a major leap of faith.  I quit my job, left New York for Kansas City, MO and God brought me back to give me something I had lost three years earlier.  It has been a hard year, but a good one.  I've had to make some difficult choices along the way and my trust is being stretched to places I often am not sure it has the ability to go.  So, as I sit and ponder Joseph's story, I have asked God what are the lessons He wants to teach me from my journey so far.  Not just the journey I have taken throughout this past year, but my life.  I dream a lot, dreams are very important to me.  God speaks to me through them, when I do not want to look at a truth about myself He sometimes shows me that truth through them, and He gives me clear warnings through them.  If you really want to know how I am doing, ask me about my dreams.  That will give you a clear picture of my mental state.  Needless to say, I have been dreaming like crazy this week and seeing a lot of pictures.  I have had to evaluate them and ask the Lord what He is showing me about myself that I am failing to look at.  The subconscious will show you things at night that you busy yourself during the day so as not to think of.  Do not ignore it. I have a truckload of stuff to work out, but I have asked Him many times to help me.  He will, I just have to let Him, which is another thing I am working on.

So, on to this journey of life that I have been asking God about.  As I have asked him a lot of "Why?" questions this week that I still have yet to get the answers to I noticed something; he doesn't always answer.  Last fall we talked a bit about Daniel and all of the questions he asked God.  God answered many of them, but not all of them.  Had Daniel not asked these questions, there might have been a lot we would not have learned about the future God has in store for us.  I have come to believe that asking the questions is not a bad thing.  I will never stop asking, "Why?" and desiring an answer, that is just me.  But, I am trying to find a balance between asking the questions and being alright with not knowing the answer; because I believe that in asking the questions there are strengths to be gained during my journey from doing so.  I am not there yet. I will keep asking hoping to get an answer, but praying for God to give me the grace to deal if He decides not to answer me. 
It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings. - Proverbs 25:2

Another thing I realized only today is that God is still my friend.  To be honest, I have sometimes felt as though he forgot about me and I was the orphaned child.  Like I would be in the corner crying and He would say, "Oh right, you!  Oh I forgot about you kid, sorry.  I have got to remember to fix her situation." 
I have been angry with Him for a long time.  That's where all of the, "Why" questions are coming from.  I would have stopped talking to me by now.  But, He just keeps on choosing to tell me things like a close friend would.  I said to him, "Why do you still want to talk to me?  I am still upset with you."  He said, "Because you are my best friend."  So, I'm trying not to be so angry today. 
 John 14:18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Hey, whatcha Gonna Do, Ms. Jones?

  We are in the middle of the longest stretch of driving Ian, Emily and I will have all summer.  We just finished working at the Ashland Kroc Center yesterday and headed out this morning for our Boston Kroc Center performance to be held tomorrow evening.  I love Boston!  Or Beantown as my Aunt Carolyn so lovingly calls it; as do many other native Bostonians.  After tomorrow night's performance, we are getting a day and a half break!!  Yipeee!! In Boston!!! Sign me up!  The only thing that looks bad for us is this dreadful heat wave.  Lord make is stop!!  Oh well, we will try to enjoy that wonderful city with 104 degree weather or not.

The Ashland performance went very well last night.  They put us in the paper the day of the show and the article was great! Except that now the team likes to call me Ms. Jones.  If you know me at all, you know that's not my name, but now the town of Ashland thinks it is.  Haha!
The Kroc Center kids did a wonderful job.  You should have seen Taylor (a.k.a. Joseph) standing there in his bright coat with all of these kids surrounding him singing, "Any Dream will do".  The picture was just beautiful!  The rest of the CAST stood with the kids singing and then at the end of the song danced off stage with them.  It was so enjoyable to watch.  Everyone seemed like they were having a blast.  While the kids sang, I saw one little boy in the front of the stage who was so excited to be singing he mimed playing the drums with our drummer, Aaron.

I have to tell you that the people in Ashland, OH are wonderful!  The kids are wonderful, the staff is wonderful and if you ever get to meet the nice lady in the big grey house who lives on center street, you will be blessed by God for the rest of your days.

Colossians 3:23 (NLT)

23 Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.

( CAST 2011 - Sweatin to the the Oldies!  Richard Simmons would be proud!)

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Next day, far from home. . .

  We are currently finishing up our time at the Dayton, Ohio Corps Community Center.  In fact, we leave today to drive three hours to Ashland, Ohio.  Our time in Dayton has been a joy and the team loved working with the young people here.  We had an older group than we have had at our previous camps, so it meant a bit of adjustment to our usual plan.  But, we had fun adjusting things and being able to do things we are not able to do with a younger crowd.  
On Thursday evening the team performed "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" and there was a dessert party afterward.  They performed a great show, even with one of the leads being ill.  Our Narrator went up there and gave it her all and blew us away with all the energy she was able to muster for the performance.The dessert party was a lot of fun and many of the CAST members were able to see family and friends they had not seen in a while.  The room was wonderfully decorated with an Egyptian them and Joseph's coat in the center. 
On Friday afternoon at 3:30pm the kids performed the pieces they had learned at the Music and Drama Day Camp the team conducted.   There was a chorus, drama and worship band.  The kids learned all of the material in a week and pulled off a fantastic finale.  We were all beaming with pride, as were the parents who were able to see their children on stage.
So, today the team will be conducting the call to worship, worship and performing a sketch written by one of the CAST members for Dayton's Sunday service.  Then at 2pm we will be leaving for Ashland, OH were the team will be conducting another day camp from Monday through Thursday and performing on Thursday evening.  
Please keep us in your prayers as we travel and minister to children through the performing arts.  It is such an honor for me to be able to hang out with such a talented group of young people whose hearts love the Father and are eager to grow in knowing Him more.

Love & Blessings to you all!

Below is a picture of us bowling during the week of rehearsals in New Jersey.  You will notice the horrendous neon colored bowling shoes. 

Saturday, July 9, 2011

CAST 2011 - Performance Dates

   These are the dates, locations and times of our upcoming performances:

  • Camp SWONEKY in Oregonia, OH - Wednesday, July 13 @ 7pm
    •  Dayton Kroc Center in Dayton, OH - Thursday, July 14 @7pm
    • Ashland Kroc Center in Ashland, OH - Wednesday, July 20 @12pm & Thursday, July 21 @6pm
    •  Boston Kroc Center in Boston, MA - Saturday, July 23 @ 7pm
    • Newburyport, MA in the outdoor village square - Wednesday, July 27 @1pm
    • Old Orchard Beach, ME pavilion - Thursday, August 4 @ 7pm
    • The School for Officer Training in Suffern, NY - August 7 @ 6pm
    If you happen to be nearby to any one of these locations, we invite you to come out and see us.
    Admission to all of these shows is free and families are encouraged to bring everyone.

    Hope to see you soon!

      Saturday, June 11, 2011

      CAST 2011 - "Oh the places you'll go!"

      Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
      by Dr. Seuss
      Today is your day.
      You’re off to Great Places!
      You’re off and away!
      You have brains in your head.
      You have feet in your shoes.
      You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
      You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
      You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.
      And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.
      Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.
      And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.
      Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
      You’ll be on your way up!
      You’ll be seeing great sights!
      You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.
      You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

      This summer I will once again be joining the CAST.  A team I have been working with for the past five years.  Our new team consists of 16 people and we are going to do a production of the musical, "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat".  The team will begin rehearsals on Tuesday, June 14 in New Jersey.  From New Jersey we will be traveling to these locations:
      Waymart, PA
      Philadelphia, PA
      Dayton, OH
      Ashland, OH
      Boston, MA
      Newburyport, MA
      Old Orchard Beach, ME
      Suffern, NY

      I will be posting our adventures on this blog along the way.  As you pray please keep us in mind, we covet your prayers.

      Wednesday, June 8, 2011

      The Nanny Diaries - Chapter Six "The Final Frontier ?"

      On Sunday evening at 3:20pm I got out of the little red Honda CR-V I had spent so many evenings in, strapped on all my luggage, hugged and said goodbye to two women who have ministered deeply in my life to head on to the next "Jesus Journey".
      When I decided to Nanny in February I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  I was pretty terrified of the experience eventhough I had a peace from God to do it.  I had no idea how I would manage being around two little boys 24/7, changing diapers, potty training, temper tantrums, etc. 
      So, here I am at the end of that adventure having found out more about myself than I bargained for.  The Lord showed me more of the good, the bad and the ugly.  He edified me in ways I never would have imagined and showed me some things that I am really excited to see come to pass. 
      I am walking into the next Jesus Journey that begins in two days with a hope and joy I have not had before.  I have a hope and excitement walking into it and a hope and excitement about what could come after.  I'm in a place I have never been before, a place where I truly believe anything can happen!  How exciting is that?!! 
      Thank you Sam, Elijah, Jon and Becki for letting me into your world and allowing me to hang out with you all for a little while.  It was life changing and necessary.    I will never be the same.

      I've heard it said
      That people come into our lives for a reason
      Bringing something we must learn
      And we are led
      To those who help us most to grow
      If we let them
      And we help them in return
      Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
      But I know I'm who I am today
      Because I knew you...

      Like a comet pulled from orbit
      As it passes a sun
      Like a stream that meets a boulder

      Halfway through the wood
      Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
      But because I knew you
      I have been changed for good

      It well may be
      That we will never meet again
      In this lifetime
      So let me say before we part
      So much of me
      Is made from what I learned from you
      You'll be with me
      Like a handprint on my heart
      And now whatever way our stories end
      I know you have re-written mine
      By being my friend...

      Like a ship blown from its mooring
      By a wind off the sea
      Like a seed dropped by a skybird
      In a distant wood
      Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
      But because I knew you
      I have been changed for good

      (Excerpt from "For Good" from Wicked - written by Stephen Schwartz)

      Sunday, April 24, 2011

      The Nanny Diaries: Chapter Five - "Seeing with the Heart"

       John 20: 29 Jesus said, "So, you believe because you've seen with your own eyes. Even better blessings are in store for those who believe without seeing."

      I have a major issue. . . the above verse, I am horrible with following through on.     Here is the bizarre part. . . I can believe for a miraculous healing for anyone.  I believe in the ability of people to cast out demons, give prophetic words months before they come true and a God who can do miracles that would blow anyones mind.  In these matters I am no doubting Thomas.  But when it comes to God doing things in my life, I'm more likely to believe in the Santa Claus who lives in the North Pole and the Easter bunny who came today and brought Sam and Elijah their baskets.   
        Most of you know about my nephew Micah.  The love I have in my heart for this little person is beyond words. He always teaches me some major life lesson when I am with him.  I look at this three year old and his ability to adapt and trust and I feel like the biggest wimp that has ever walked the planet.  If you don't already know this, Micah is visually impaired.  He has been since birth.  The only thing that he can see is a bit of light in one eye.   On Monday evening I am traveling to Detroit, Michigan to be with him and his baby brother while Micah has eye surgery. Despite this his impairment, he is one of the happiest, fun-loving, big-hearted, loving children you will ever meet in your life.  He is so trusting, open and fearless that all you can do is stand in awe when you watch him interact with others.  I'm not so trusting, open and fearless when it comes to people.  I've been hurt a lot. I've taken offense with God because He has allowed my life to go in directions different from those I've wanted, and honestly I can't say that I look back and see that it was better.  I'm still working on that.   So, my defense fortress is pretty high and made out of the toughest materials one can get.  But you know this.  
      Here is what I think, the world needs more people like Micah.  The world needs people who are loving, love Jesus, care about others and trust others.  If more people had the attributes that he does what a wonderful world this would be.  If we all had the ability to trust God in this manner, what a glorious life we would have.  
      So, once again the Lord has ordained it so that I can spend some time with Micah and learn more about trust.  I am sure that there will be many more lessons that I will learn during my time with him.  Those I will post upon my return.  Until then, be blessed!

      Hebrews 11:1-3
      1 Faith is being sure of what we hope for. It is being certain of what we do not see. 2 That is what the people of long ago were praised for.
       3 We have faith. So we understand that everything was made when God commanded it. That's why we believe that what we see was not made out of what could be seen.

      Monday, April 11, 2011

      The Nanny Diaries: Chapter Four - "Takes a Lick'in"

        I don't know about you, but I am going to be honest, my affection is not unconditional.  One of my favorite quotes is, "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, no deal."  I can love someone with the love of the Lord, from a distance once they've hurt me, but they will no longer be to me what they once were.  It's just how it works.  I refuse to be the fool if I know that you're trying to play me for one.  
      Last Tuesday I was going through the usual potty training routine with Elijah and during the last cycle he said to me four times, "Auntie, I love you."  The last time he holds on to my arm and lays his head against it and says, "I love you".  We can overlook the fact that during this time I was pulling up his pull-up.  I will take the love whenever I can get it, no matter the circumstances nowadays.  When I look at myself, I do not see one worthy of the kind of love this little person gives to me.  As soon as he gets home from preschool he kicks off his Woody Round-Up boots and yells, "Auntie!!  Auntie!!" looking for me.  Why?  I'm not cool?  Sometimes I am moody from PMS or just having a melancholy day.  The day he said, "I love you" to me four times I had not been as fun as usual.  The dot and PMS had the better of me.  

      If you've been reading my blog, you know about my cat issues.  Well, Elijah adores Zoe.   When she was at the vet to be fixed and de-clawed he asked for her everyday and said, "I miss my kitty."   Meanwhile her absence those four days were the best days of my life!
      Elijah has battle wounds that would have turned off my affections from Zoe in a heartbeat.  That cat has drawn blood from him and when she bites or scratches him the blood curdling screams that come from this little person are enough to make you want to throw Zoe out of the window.    The bowling ball sized tears that run down Elijah's rosy cheeks are just heartbreaking and you're sure that this will be the last straw and he will stay away from the cat.  But two minutes later, with a Toy Story bandaid prominently displayed on the new wound, he goes to Zoe and with one lonely tear left on his  eyelashes lays his face on her soft fur and says, "I love my kitty."  
      As adults with all the wounds life has given us our cynical first reactions might be, "That little boy is a glutton for punishment."  Or, "That kid is not the sharpest tool in the shed if he keeps going near that cat."  But here is what I have learned.  Elijah has unconditional love and affection for everyone just the way Jesus has asked us to and I stand in shame when I watch him.  That little boy has taught me a lot about how God loves me. This is not to say that Elijah is perfect, he is a three-year old.  He has just really shown how God loves and how quickly I put walls up.
       I have a wicked fast internal construction company that begins putting up walls as soon as I meet you.  My internal architect has a plan ready for each scenario.  So, we are ready for you to cross me because you are human and it is inevitable that you will deeply hurt me and then it's going to take forever to repair the wound.  So, if I start now, hopefully the repairs will not take as long and even then it is only a crack in the wall.  
      I'm not saying that we should walk around being an open-book to whomever we meet.  That is not smart either, but I know that I need to find a better balance than the one I currently have.  As I continue to work on the wounds I have, I pray that the Lord will show me how to give and receive love better than I do now. 
      I'm so glad that His love is fully unconditional.  Just think about the wounds that our Lord has?  As loathsome and horrible a people we are he loves us wholeheartedly and unchangingly.  I in my wicked nature can't even seem to muster up that kind of love for my Lord.    He is just so loving and too good to us.  We truly do not deserve it.     
       Psalm 100:5 -  The Lord is good. His faithful love continues forever. It will last for all time to come. (NIR)

      Sunday, March 27, 2011

      The Nanny Diaries: Chapter Three - What a Nerd!

      So, we are at the one month mark and I am still alive.  I've managed to survive all the poopy pull-ups, temper tantrums, naughty chair incidents and Wii mental breakdowns that come with hanging out with two little people.  You learn a lot from kids.  You learn a lot about yourself and how we treat God through them.  I mean, He did ask us to come to Him as little children.  I'm finding that we are quicker to come to Him as whiny little children, more than loving children.

      Here are this week's Highs and Lows:

      Highs for the week -

      1.  One afternoon I was trying to get Elijah to go potty and he says to me, "Auntie, I have a nerd in there!"  I said, " A nerd?  In where?"  He says, "In there!"  And points to his pull-up.  After a few moments of wondering what in the world a nerd could possibly be doing in his pull-ups, seeing as we had none of that candy in the house, I finally realized what he meant.  Earlier in the day when we were potty training I had seen one of the "t" words in his pull-up and called it so.  He misheard what I said and deemed them, "Nerds".  So, now instead of asking Elijah if he has a poopy, I ask him if he has nerds.

      2.  As you know, I'm not a cat person.  So, one evening during the boys' devotional time with their mother, she asked them what prayer requests they had.  Elijah said, "I want to pray for Auntie, because she yells at the kitty because the kitty is mean to her."

      Lows for the week -

      1.  That darn cat!!
      Incident #1 - She jumped in my face one night while Becki and I were trying to relax and watch some      television.
      Incident #2 - Zoe jumped in Elijah's face while he was trying to get ready for preschool.
      Incident #3 - Zoe jumped on Becki's back and put her paws around her head while Becki was trying to put Elijah down for his nap.

      2.  Still struggling.

      Romans 7: 24-25  
      24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? 25Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.

      Wednesday, March 23, 2011

      In Memoriam: Elizabeth Taylor

      Ecclesiastes 12:14 (The Message)

       14 And that's it. Eventually God will bring everything that we do out into the open and judge it according to its hidden intent, whether it's good or evil.
      Matthew 7:3-5 (The Message)

       1-5 "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.

      I know she had her issues, but the truth is that we all do.  Most of us are lucky enough to not have our issues, mistakes and disasters strewn all over the front page of the New York Times.  Imagine if your whole life, the good, the bad and the ugly were out for everyone to look at, sneer at and comment on.  One day we will stand before God and all of our good, bad and ugly will be out for everyone to see.  Some of us are lucky that it's all covered by the blood.  So, I pray that in the end this lady was able to see TRUTH and find REAL LOVE the only place it comes.  God bless her soul. Lord, I thank you for gracing us with her presence and talent for the 79 years we had her.  

      Go in Peace dear one.

      Dame Elizabeth Taylor 1932 - 2011

      Sunday, March 20, 2011

      Nanny Diaries: Chapter Two - Poopy in the Potty & The King of Pop

      If you can't stand potty talk, this may not be the blog for you.  I Nanny two little boys so there's a lot of potty talk around here.

      Here are my highs for the week -

      1.  Elijah went poopy on the potty three days in a row!!!!!  Wooohoooo!
      Now, you know your life is different when seeing poo in a toilet makes you clap and dance.

      2.  One evening after dinner I realized the cat was missing.   I asked Becki where Zoe had gone and she said she didn't know.  I went in the living room to turn on some cartoons for Sam and three year old Elijah came bounding into the room holding Zoe.  He must've overheard me asking Becki where she was because then he proclaimed, " I put her in Sam's room because she was bothering me!"  I said, "You put her in Sam's room?"  Elijah smiled and proudly said, "Yeah, I didn't want her to bother me while I was resting.  So, I put her in Sam's room and locked the door!"

      3. Saturday morning - all of us dancing to Michael Jackson in the kitchen while making breakfast.

      4.  Sam getting a Superstar of the day from his teacher.

      5.  Elijah saying to me, "Auntie, i love you."
      Of course as with any man, big or small, this changes depending on whether or not he gets his way.

      6.  Sam saying "I Love You" at the end of a long hard week.  I knew he meant it because he was awkward and cracking jokes to break up how awkward he felt.  Turns out little boys aren't much different from big ones.

      Lows for the week -

      1.  The cat annoying me consistently.
      Obviously, I'm a dog person.

      2.  Having to set a trap and do the clean up after getting rid of a small rodent before the boys saw it.

      3.  Still fighting this battle to get to where I need to be with God.  So that I can become the woman He has created me to be.

      Next week I will be one month into this and so far, so good.  I continue to covet your prayers on this adventure and thank you for those you have given so far.  I LOVE the comments you all have posted and the emails I have received.  They really bless me as I am still in a time of wilderness and the Lord is molding me.  Everyday I feel like I am fighting to stay afloat.  Fighting to stay strong and steadfast in what I believe and trust in whom I have believed.  I am grateful to be in a better mental state than I was this time a year ago, but years in a wilderness can really wear you down.  I feel like I am always fighting the lies of the enemy, the voices of the committee that come from myself, Satan and those I've known in the past.  It's painful, hard and frustrating right now, but I must believe that in the end everything will come up roses.
      That's the Lord's goal ultimately isn't it?  Refining us until we are the men and women of God we need to be?  For us to smell like roses and be a beautiful bride for His Son Jesus when it's time for us to rule with him?

      2 Chronicles 20:15-17 (New Living Translation)

       15 He said, “Listen, all you people of Judah and Jerusalem! Listen, King Jehoshaphat! This is what the Lord says: Do not be afraid! Don’t be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God’s. 16 Tomorrow, march out against them. You will find them coming up through the ascent of Ziz at the end of the valley that opens into the wilderness of Jeruel. 17 But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the Lord’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow, for the Lord is with you!”

      Monday, March 7, 2011

      The Nanny Diaries: Chapter One

      I arrived here in the sleepy town of Carthage, New York on Saturday, February 26, 2011.  But this was not a smooth arrival.  Oh Amtrak, when will you ever get it right?  Do you even want to get it right?  Do you even care?  
      My train was already two hours late out of New York Penn Station and then you made me sit for another indefinite delay on the train.  
      Despite all of the delays, soreness, anger and frustrations I arrived here in tact to two little boys full of energy and playfulness.  My days have been packed with activity and trying to understand exactly what the Lord is wanting to show me through this new assignment.  Obviously, my number one job here is to be a servant to my friend Becki.  To be honest, I don't know what I am doing.  I think that we are all flying by the seat of our pants. The children are doing very well considering there is now a strange woman in the house playing with them and telling them what to do just after there father has been deployed.  What a difference a year makes!  Wow!
      Instead of logging tapes, updating databases and all the other things I use to do I get to play Wii with a seven year old, hide and seek with a three year old and make playdough.  Come on!  My life could not be more different than it was a year ago.  Sure, I don't have as much money as I did a year ago, but I would not trade the decision I made for all the blue playdough I get to make with Elijah.  God's plans maybe quite different than what we expect but I must concede that they are so much better than what I could be doing.  Bless him for his gifts.
      Please continue to pray for us as we find out what God has in-store for us all.  God has already been showing me a lot and I've only been here one week.

      Be Blessed!

      Thursday, February 17, 2011

      The Nanny Diaries: Prologue

      Last summer I was working at an Arts Conservatory and shared some things I was going through at the time with a friend.  Her and her husband kindly opened their home to me and said that if I needed a place to crash and get some head space to pray and find out what the Lord wanted me to do next I could do it there.  Well, a few weeks into my time at IHOP another friend told me that her husband was being deployed to Afghanistan for one year.  I began praying for them and a few weeks into my time back in Maryland the idea of going up their and possibly helping her for some time during the transition kept coming into my mind.  I didn't understand where the idea was coming from or why it was popping into my head.  A few days later she began to text me and I new what she was going to ask.   So, on Saturday, February 26, 2011 I will be taking a train to upstate New York.  As of right now, I will be there for one month to see if we mesh well.  If things work out well I will stay for 2 more months.  If it doesn't feel right, I'll stay in Maryland when I come back this way for another friend's wedding which takes place at the end of March.  I am going with truly no idea what the Lord has in-store.  All that I can say is that we both have peace about it.  I will basically be helping my friend with her two little boys and the household. 
      We covet your prayers during this transitional time and for her husband Jon in Afghanistan.  Please pray for his protection, health, peace of mind and that he would be able to plant mighty seeds into his men.
      I thank you in advance for your prayers and support during this time.  We will need all that we can get.

      Hopefully I will be able to post my Nanny adventures here regularly.  I am sure that these two little boys will give me enough material for a lifetime!

      Jeremiah 29:11 (NLV)11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

      Sunday, February 6, 2011

      Happy Super Sunday!!

      Happy Superbowl Sunday!!  I love football, so this is a fun day for my family and I.  We are sad our team didn't make it, but I am wearing white and green to root for the underdog. Especially since our favorite team is always the underdog and everyone is always in shock when we come out fighting.

      Anyway, Susan Isaacs tweeted this picture today and I thought it was appropriate seeing as most of us went to church today and there is much truth in it.

      Her tweet was, "Have you ever prayed this way?"

      James 5:16 (NLT)16 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. 



      Tuesday, January 18, 2011

      Cure for the Bad Weather Blues

      This post has absolutely no spiritual application.  I could make one if I wanted to, I could say something like, "We need to have joy in all of the different seasons of  life.  Whether we are in a season of rain and dark clouds, or joy and sunshine."  But, I'm not, this entry is for pure enjoyment.

       Now, I must first preface this by saying that I love winter.  I adore snow but the ice is not my friend.  And I know most people would be much happier if it were spring or summer right now.  So, seeing as most of us have had some harry weather.  Kansas City with it's recent tornado, my New York/New Jersey peeps have been getting pummeled with snow and ice along with everyone else on the east coast and Midwest getting their fare share.  I thought this post might bring a smile to some faces. No one knows how to have joy in the midst of bad weather like my man, Gene Kelly.

      Enjoy this this tribute to the man who knows how to do bad weather.
      Too bad this would never work on ice.