The Nanny Diaries: Chapter Four - "Takes a Lick'in"

  I don't know about you, but I am going to be honest, my affection is not unconditional.  One of my favorite quotes is, "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, no deal."  I can love someone with the love of the Lord, from a distance once they've hurt me, but they will no longer be to me what they once were.  It's just how it works.  I refuse to be the fool if I know that you're trying to play me for one.  

Last Tuesday I was going through the usual potty training routine with Elijah and during the last cycle he said to me four times, "Auntie, I love you."  The last time he holds on to my arm and lays his head against it and says, "I love you".  We can overlook the fact that during this time I was pulling up his pull-up.  I will take the love whenever I can get it, no matter the circumstances nowadays.  When I look at myself, I do not see one worthy of the kind of love this little person gives to me.  As soon as he gets home from preschool he kicks off his Woody Round-Up boots and yells, "Auntie!!  Auntie!!" looking for me.  Why?  I'm not cool?  Sometimes I am moody from PMS or just having a melancholy day.  The day he said, "I love you" to me four times I had not been as fun as usual.  The dot and PMS had the better of me.  

If you've been reading my blog, you know about my cat issues.  Well, Elijah adores Zoe.   When she was at the vet to be fixed and de-clawed he asked for her everyday and said, "I miss my kitty."   Meanwhile her absence those four days were the best days of my life!

Elijah has battle wounds that would have turned off my affections from Zoe in a heartbeat.  That cat has drawn blood from him and when she bites or scratches him the blood curdling screams that come from this little person are enough to make you want to throw Zoe out of the window.    The bowling ball sized tears that run down Elijah's rosy cheeks are just heartbreaking and you're sure that this will be the last straw and he will stay away from the cat.  But two minutes later, with a Toy Story bandaid prominently displayed on the new wound, he goes to Zoe and with one lonely tear left on his  eyelashes lays his face on her soft fur and says, "I love my kitty."  

As adults with all the wounds life has given us our cynical first reactions might be, "That little boy is a glutton for punishment."  Or, "That kid is not the sharpest tool in the shed if he keeps going near that cat."  But here is what I have learned.  Elijah has unconditional love and affection for everyone just the way Jesus has asked us to and I stand in shame when I watch him.  That little boy has taught me a lot about how God loves me. This is not to say that Elijah is perfect, he is a three-year old.  He has just really shown how God loves and how quickly I put walls up.

 I have a wicked fast internal construction company that begins putting up walls as soon as I meet you.  My internal architect has a plan ready for each scenario.  So, we are ready for you to cross me because you are human and it is inevitable that you will deeply hurt me and then it's going to take forever to repair the wound.  So, if I start now, hopefully the repairs will not take as long and even then it is only a crack in the wall.  

I'm not saying that we should walk around being an open-book to whomever we meet.  That is not smart either, but I know that I need to find a better balance than the one I currently have.  As I continue to work on the wounds I have, I pray that the Lord will show me how to give and receive love better than I do now. 

I'm so glad that His love is fully unconditional.  Just think about the wounds that our Lord has?  As loathsome and horrible a people we are he loves us wholeheartedly and unchangingly.  I in my wicked nature can't even seem to muster up that kind of love for my Lord.    He is just so loving and too good to us.  We truly do not deserve it.     

 

 Psalm 100:5 -  The Lord is good. His faithful love continues forever. It will last for all time to come. (NIR)

The Nanny Diaries: Chapter Three - What a Nerd!

So, we are at the one month mark and I am still alive.  I've managed to survive all the poopy pull-ups, temper tantrums, naughty chair incidents and Wii mental breakdowns that come with hanging out with two little people.  You learn a lot from kids.  You learn a lot about yourself and how we treat God through them.  I mean, He did ask us to come to Him as little children.  I'm finding that we are quicker to come to Him as whiny little children, more than loving children.

Here are this week's Highs and Lows:

Highs for the week -

1.  One afternoon I was trying to get Elijah to go potty and he says to me, "Auntie, I have a nerd in there!"  I said, " A nerd?  In where?"  He says, "In there!"  And points to his pull-up.  After a few moments of wondering what in the world a nerd could possibly be doing in his pull-ups, seeing as we had none of that candy in the house, I finally realized what he meant.  Earlier in the day when we were potty training I had seen one of the "t" words in his pull-up and called it so.  He misheard what I said and deemed them, "Nerds".  So, now instead of asking Elijah if he has a poopy, I ask him if he has nerds.

2.  As you know, I'm not a cat person.  So, one evening during the boys' devotional time with their mother, she asked them what prayer requests they had.  Elijah said, "I want to pray for Auntie, because she yells at the kitty because the kitty is mean to her."


Lows for the week -

1.  That darn cat!!
Incident #1 - She jumped in my face one night while Becki and I were trying to relax and watch some      television.
Incident #2 - Zoe jumped in Elijah's face while he was trying to get ready for preschool.
Incident #3 - Zoe jumped on Becki's back and put her paws around her head while Becki was trying to put Elijah down for his nap.

2.  Still struggling.



^{Romans 7: 24-25  
24} Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? ²⁵Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.

In Memoriam: Elizabeth Taylor

Ecclesiastes 12:14 (The Message)

 ¹⁴ And that's it. Eventually God will bring everything that we do out into the open and judge it according to its hidden intent, whether it's good or evil.

    

Matthew 7:3-5 (The Message)

 ^1-5 "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.

I know she had her issues, but the truth is that we all do.  Most of us are lucky enough to not have our issues, mistakes and disasters strewn all over the front page of the New York Times.  Imagine if your whole life, the good, the bad and the ugly were out for everyone to look at, sneer at and comment on.  One day we will stand before God and all of our good, bad and ugly will be out for everyone to see.  Some of us are lucky that it's all covered by the blood.  So, I pray that in the end this lady was able to see TRUTH and find REAL LOVE the only place it comes.  God bless her soul. Lord, I thank you for gracing us with her presence and talent for the 79 years we had her.  


Go in Peace dear one.

Dame Elizabeth Taylor 1932 - 2011

Nanny Diaries: Chapter Two - Poopy in the Potty & The King of Pop

If you can't stand potty talk, this may not be the blog for you.  I Nanny two little boys so there's a lot of potty talk around here.

Here are my highs for the week -

1.  Elijah went poopy on the potty three days in a row!!!!!  Wooohoooo!
Now, you know your life is different when seeing poo in a toilet makes you clap and dance.

2.  One evening after dinner I realized the cat was missing.   I asked Becki where Zoe had gone and she said she didn't know.  I went in the living room to turn on some cartoons for Sam and three year old Elijah came bounding into the room holding Zoe.  He must've overheard me asking Becki where she was because then he proclaimed, " I put her in Sam's room because she was bothering me!"  I said, "You put her in Sam's room?"  Elijah smiled and proudly said, "Yeah, I didn't want her to bother me while I was resting.  So, I put her in Sam's room and locked the door!"

3. Saturday morning - all of us dancing to Michael Jackson in the kitchen while making breakfast.

4.  Sam getting a Superstar of the day from his teacher.

5.  Elijah saying to me, "Auntie, i love you."
Of course as with any man, big or small, this changes depending on whether or not he gets his way.

6.  Sam saying "I Love You" at the end of a long hard week.  I knew he meant it because he was awkward and cracking jokes to break up how awkward he felt.  Turns out little boys aren't much different from big ones.

Lows for the week -

1.  The cat annoying me consistently.
Obviously, I'm a dog person.

2.  Having to set a trap and do the clean up after getting rid of a small rodent before the boys saw it.

3.  Still fighting this battle to get to where I need to be with God.  So that I can become the woman He has created me to be.

Next week I will be one month into this and so far, so good.  I continue to covet your prayers on this adventure and thank you for those you have given so far.  I LOVE the comments you all have posted and the emails I have received.  They really bless me as I am still in a time of wilderness and the Lord is molding me.  Everyday I feel like I am fighting to stay afloat.  Fighting to stay strong and steadfast in what I believe and trust in whom I have believed.  I am grateful to be in a better mental state than I was this time a year ago, but years in a wilderness can really wear you down.  I feel like I am always fighting the lies of the enemy, the voices of the committee that come from myself, Satan and those I've known in the past.  It's painful, hard and frustrating right now, but I must believe that in the end everything will come up roses.
That's the Lord's goal ultimately isn't it?  Refining us until we are the men and women of God we need to be?  For us to smell like roses and be a beautiful bride for His Son Jesus when it's time for us to rule with him?

2 Chronicles 20:15-17 (New Living Translation)

 ¹⁵ He said, “Listen, all you people of Judah and Jerusalem! Listen, King Jehoshaphat! This is what the Lord says: Do not be afraid! Don’t be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God’s. ¹⁶ Tomorrow, march out against them. You will find them coming up through the ascent of Ziz at the end of the valley that opens into the wilderness of Jeruel. ¹⁷ But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the Lord’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow, for the Lord is with you!”

The Nanny Diaries: Chapter One

I arrived here in the sleepy town of Carthage, New York on Saturday, February 26, 2011.  But this was not a smooth arrival.  Oh Amtrak, when will you ever get it right?  Do you even want to get it right?  Do you even care?  
My train was already two hours late out of New York Penn Station and then you made me sit for another indefinite delay on the train.  
Despite all of the delays, soreness, anger and frustrations I arrived here in tact to two little boys full of energy and playfulness.  My days have been packed with activity and trying to understand exactly what the Lord is wanting to show me through this new assignment.  Obviously, my number one job here is to be a servant to my friend Becki.  To be honest, I don't know what I am doing.  I think that we are all flying by the seat of our pants. The children are doing very well considering there is now a strange woman in the house playing with them and telling them what to do just after there father has been deployed.  What a difference a year makes!  Wow!
Instead of logging tapes, updating databases and all the other things I use to do I get to play Wii with a seven year old, hide and seek with a three year old and make playdough.  Come on!  My life could not be more different than it was a year ago.  Sure, I don't have as much money as I did a year ago, but I would not trade the decision I made for all the blue playdough I get to make with Elijah.  God's plans maybe quite different than what we expect but I must concede that they are so much better than what I could be doing.  Bless him for his gifts.
Please continue to pray for us as we find out what God has in-store for us all.  God has already been showing me a lot and I've only been here one week.


Be Blessed!

The Nanny Diaries: Prologue

Last summer I was working at an Arts Conservatory and shared some things I was going through at the time with a friend.  Her and her husband kindly opened their home to me and said that if I needed a place to crash and get some head space to pray and find out what the Lord wanted me to do next I could do it there.  Well, a few weeks into my time at IHOP another friend told me that her husband was being deployed to Afghanistan for one year.  I began praying for them and a few weeks into my time back in Maryland the idea of going up their and possibly helping her for some time during the transition kept coming into my mind.  I didn't understand where the idea was coming from or why it was popping into my head.  A few days later she began to text me and I new what she was going to ask.   So, on Saturday, February 26, 2011 I will be taking a train to upstate New York.  As of right now, I will be there for one month to see if we mesh well.  If things work out well I will stay for 2 more months.  If it doesn't feel right, I'll stay in Maryland when I come back this way for another friend's wedding which takes place at the end of March.  I am going with truly no idea what the Lord has in-store.  All that I can say is that we both have peace about it.  I will basically be helping my friend with her two little boys and the household. 
We covet your prayers during this transitional time and for her husband Jon in Afghanistan.  Please pray for his protection, health, peace of mind and that he would be able to plant mighty seeds into his men.
I thank you in advance for your prayers and support during this time.  We will need all that we can get.

Hopefully I will be able to post my Nanny adventures here regularly.  I am sure that these two little boys will give me enough material for a lifetime!

Jeremiah 29:11 (NLV)¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Happy Super Sunday!!

Happy Superbowl Sunday!!  I love football, so this is a fun day for my family and I.  We are sad our team didn't make it, but I am wearing white and green to root for the underdog. Especially since our favorite team is always the underdog and everyone is always in shock when we come out fighting.

Anyway, Susan Isaacs tweeted this picture today and I thought it was appropriate seeing as most of us went to church today and there is much truth in it.

Her tweet was, "Have you ever prayed this way?"

James 5:16 (NLT)¹⁶ Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.